Life in the Blue

Our friend Jay Burcheck, Jay Blue Jay, is leaving us this week for greener pastures. Since he loves the game of baseball, the best way to honor him is thru the greatest baseball poem ever written, Casey at the bat…(Editors Note: This was performed live at his going away ceremony in the Osaka party room.)

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Plus One nine that day.
The time was 10 to 1, with but 10 minutes left to play
Tim had ducked out early, and Dippold did the same
A sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the game

Big Twelve had been a party, as was Tony C’s
But Blue Jay couldn’t find a mate with whom he was appeased

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to hope that Jay could touch a human breast.
They thought, if only Burcheck could get a whack at that
We’d put up even money, now, that he’d bust out a Jimmy Hat.

But Mitch preceded Blue Jay, as did Scotty what’s his name
And the former had a wife, and the latter had no game
So upon that stricken multitude grim, melancholy sat
Jay would have to sit and think, I bet they think I’m fat.

But Mitch took down the blond one, to the wonderment of it all
And Scotty talked the warcraft game with the one brunette and tall
And when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
There was a redhead left for Blue Jay. Ginger, but not a nerd.

For somehow success seemed likely for our friend the bird
Cause there was Mitchy safe at second, and Scotty was a huggin third.

Then from the dance floor packed with people there rose a lusty yell
It rumbled thru the valley, it rattled in the dell
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the flat
For Burcheck, Jay Blue Jay, was advancing to the bat

There was no ease in Burcheck’s manner as he stepped into his place
There was terror in Blue Jays bearing and worry on Blue Jays face
And when, saying hello, he said Nice Cardinals Hat.
No stranger in the crowd could doubt, - ’twas Burcheck at the bat.

He thought of Britts advice as he thought of what to say
Tell her that she’s sunglasses. I-H-I Jay Blue Jay
Then, he thought aloud, what would Nathaniel do?
I want him to hold my hand, and see this matter thru.

He first thought of soccer, but that was not too smart.
Or he could talk time clock, his passion at his heart
Or eighty’s music maybe, or the latest Main Squeeze blend
He needs more time to craft his line to take down this lady friend

And now a different girl says hello and breaks the night time air
But Blue Jay stood just watching her, no interest over there
Close by the wobbling Blue Jay, her evening dress was red
That aint my style said Blue Jay, strike one the bald man said.

Cullen, Josh and Bryan roared.
Like the beating of the storm waves, on a stern and distant shore
“Take her! Take down that one!” shouted Cullen from floor
And it’s likely he’d of done it, but then he thought, - “she’s poor”

He looked out to the crowd, and a new girl said “Hey You”
But Blue Jay still ignored it, and the bald man said ’strike two.’

“Her! Cried the maddened thousands and echo answered ‘Her!’
But one look back from Blue Jay and they knew he’d make one purr.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscle strain
And they knew that Blue Jay wouldn’t let a girl go by again.

The smile is gone from Blue Jay’s lip, his teeth are clenched in fear.
He turns back to the red head girl, maybe she wants a beer?
And now Blue Jay has his line and now he lets it go…
And now the air is shattered by the force of Blue Jay’s Blow

Somehow Blue Jay thought of beer pong, triumphs of foes he beat
And all blue jay could think to say, How’s the view from those cheap seats?

Oh somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Columbia today, mighty Blue Jay has struck out.

Also of note…Breaking news in the world of poor people today.

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