Life in the Blue

A great idea from Enviseo today. The idea is to take a look around work areas and compare them with fellow SEM’s. Let’s give it a try.

I was once told by a fellow young executive that her boss told her to spend 2 hours per week cleaning her ‘work area.’ If my boss thought I was spending two hours a week cleaning my desk he would fire me on the spot. If he told me to I would probably litter the entire floor with animal crackers and spend the rest of the day playing Sega. I mean I use a calendar with the pictures drawn by 2nd graders for crying out loud.

I wager that most fellow SEM’s must have desks that look similar to mine. Let’s go on a guided tour. With us today will be famed Sand Maps tour guide, Geraldo Rivera.

Good morning and welcome everyone. We start with an aerial photograph looking down where the computer is stored. Clearly an important young executive here. Why, he has a half a ream of paper and a box that at one time contained a $9.99 answering machine from Staples. It looks like he has a Fisher Price my first printer off in the distance there as well. And, very important, a roll of paper towels to wipe up spilled vitamin water or gin and tonics, whatever the drink of the day is.

Looking behind the desk we see he stores all of his important papers in Dunder Mifflin paper boxes stacked on top of each other. There appear to be some unused manila folders there as well. I’m sure if he should even need to make some important graphs in excel, he would file them there. Martha Stewart once told me on the Geraldo Rivera show that all important young executives store their important papers on the floor. There also looks to be a football and wiffle ball stored along side last years stock portfolio. He probably uses those to throw at his local donkey.

As you can see his desk is also very in order. An empty bottle of vitamin water always makes for a great paper weight. He appears to handle all of his writing with a bic pen and yellow crayon. He is also very high tech, keeping his cell phone in reach at all times, and let’s not forget the aviator sunglasses, those are always in style.

He seems to have a great filing system atop his desk going on as well. The most important papers are pushed more toward the middle to ensure they won’t fall off, while less important ones move to the edges and eventually fall off. In an exclusive interview, I learned that once the papers fall off, he files them in the perviously mentioned Dunder Mifflin paper boxes. He feels this improves productivity by 37%.

And anyone in need of a new task management system, or TMS as they call it in the biz, check out his high tech color coded task system. He appears to write his to do list in crayon. For a small fee of $5,000, he will teach you his excusive TMS that uses only the back side of a piece of scrap paper, one pen, and two or three crayons.

Thanks for joining me on tour this evening everyone. Don’t forget to tune into me and my broom pusher man stash on the Gerald Rivera show on the Fox Noise Channel.

That was fun. Props to Enviseo for the idea again. If you time, put some photos on your blog and leave a comment. Next time we will compare underwear.

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